Throughout life we encounter numerous friends and other people that change who we are, whether it be for better or worse. I have come to the conclusion that there are really only two types of people in the world -the ones that raise you up and ones that bring you down. While it seems easy to determine the two it sometimes becomes a challenge. Consequently, I can sometimes also succumb to the mindset of the latter. I would like to say that words don't hurt, but of course they do and while each individual is in control of his or her own happiness friends and acquaintances can also effect how you feel and act.
I also believe that nothing really changes from high school. We all try to fit in and be a part of a group of people, only wanting to be accepted by a group of people like ourselves. People gossip and talk about others no matter how many people say they don't.. everyone takes part of it in some way or another. We all get pissed off from time to time and are angered by those closest to us. These are people that, in effect, can hurt us the most.
In addition, we have phases in our lives in which we come across these friends. Friends come and go no matter how good of friends you were sometimes we take different paths in our lives and we become distance.
Take high school for example: I never thought I quite fit in during high school. I guess I would have been a nerd or somewhat of an unpopular kid. Don't get me wrong, I had many people I talked to and had fun with but I was never the kid who went and spent the night at someone's house or just hung out with people. I guess the best way to put it is that I just got along with everyone in my small class. I have a small group of friends from high school that I had fun with, whether it be the group I knew from my affiliation from working at Pizza Hut to the group of friends in band or choir. Once high school is over, everyone goes their separate ways and to no fault of anyone, you just lose contact. Thank God for Facebook - I can now keep up and talk with them. Some of these friends follow you to college..
College - oh what a time. It is a whirlwind of fun and excitement and then one day you graduate, everyone packs up and goes home and whether or not you realize it that is the last time you see or hear from any of your friends that you spent every waking hour or day with - whether it be partying or just staying up all night sitting in the same spot on your friends futon talking all night. These are the friends I really wish I could keep in contact with the most - the friends who really knew you and the ones you knew more than some family members. Then one day it all changes. College is over and at some point you become an adult and people start having families and the days turn into years and the only time you ever really see these people are by coincidence or when you look through the pictures from college, thinking how just once you could go back and relive the days where you could start drinking at 4 in the afternoon and stay up until 3 AM only to do it all over again the next day. Now if you try this it takes a good day or two to just get out of bed and recover. If there is something I wish it would be to keep in contact with this group of friends - the ones that truly knew you, the ones that you spent your entire 4 years with, the ones that live across the entire state. If only just one day we could all go back and relive what once ways only to say, "Goodbye" properly rather than the usual "see you later" as you cram your college crap in the back of a pickup heading home for the last time.
Last but not least are the friends you have now... the ones you have met since college whether it be through your neighborhood or through your workplace. While we are all older it doesn't necessarily mean we are all more mature. We are just older immature people trying to find friends as if we were in junior high again just wanting to be "liked." I have a lot of great friends - I really do. I have so many people that I care about and that care about me I have a sense of accomplishment. Some of these great friends I have known since high school while others I have known for a short time but all have a great impact of my life.
One of my biggest faults is to worry about what other people think of me. I will fully admit it and while I try to think otherwise, this is still fault of mine. It is hard for me to let things slide off my back. There are people in my life who try to bring me down and I am not sure why - whether it be that they are just that mean or that they are just too jealous and don't want me to have what they can't have themselves - happiness. These are the people that purposely ignore you just so they get under your skin, those who make snide remarks to others or more discretely by texting messaging or Facebook. These are the ones that make comments regarding something about you to others, but never actually mentioning you in them - yet they and you both know they are directing the comment to you. These are also the people who then turn the situation completely around, trying to validate their own actions by claiming what they are doing is in response to you..... and still you would think I would know how to handle this. I am still at a loss as to what to do. I guess one can only take so much negativity and blatant rudeness for so long until that is all one focuses on. What do you do? How do you rid yourselves of people who make you feel like crap (even if you don't know if you still consider them a friend or not).
And the last paragraph in itself sums up my faults... all this energy on a very small portion of negative people in my life when I should be focusing on everyone who is a positive influence. I just wish I would make more of an effort to keep in touch to those who I spent so much of my time in the past with. I truly wish I could spend more time with all of my friends at least for a moment reliving the the good times we all had. The ones that one day we will talk to our kids about or reminisce while looking through old photos.
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